Cupid's Arrow
by GorillaQueen
Summary: During Kim and Shego's last fight. Shego accidently kill's Cupid and now she and Kim must take on Cupid's duties. kigo.
1. Death of a God

This story was inspired by Christopher Moore's _Dirty Job._

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of these characters

**Chapter 1:** Death of a God

Cupid sat restlessly in an air vent watching the fight below him. He's been watching the pair for the past 2 hours waiting for the right moment to strike. As much as he loved his job, he hated missions like this where you spent 2/3's of the time waiting and a third of actual action.

He's been on this particular case for two months now. Every time he had a clear shot of his target something would go wrong. Whether it would be a lair exploding, a doomsday device going off, or even the occasional swarm of monkies, the outcome would always be the same; failure.

Today was different. Today was the day he would get his target. He would have given up on the pair a long time ago if he wasn't so passionate about his work. Cupid took out his notepad and reviewed his check list.

'_Lets see' _Cupid thought. _'No evil monkies?… check!. … No exploding lairs?… check!… No exploding doomsday device?… check!… No 8 foot cuddle bear thingies? … Check! …. No distractions?'_ Cupid scanned the room looking for any potential problems _'Check!'_.

With a smug look Cupid closed his notebook and glanced back down at the pair. The smaller girl had kicked the other girl in the chest, sending her flying across the room. Cupid saw this as an opportunity to hit the girl. He took his bow and arrow and carefully aimed it at her. He took one last look around making sure there was nothing there to ruin the moment. With a victorious grin he refocused his attention back on the redhead.

Unfortunately, Cupid, too caught up in the moment, failed to notice the glowing green plasma hurling towards him.

-------------

"Give it up Kimmie. We both know what the outcome of this battle is" Shego smirked.

"You're right Shego.. I might as well give up" Kim said, dropping her fighting stance.

"Really?" Shego asked incredulously while dropping her fighting stance as well. "Ha! I knew you'd see it my wa-" Kim delivered a kick to Shego's chest.

Kim rolled her eyes "Honestly Shego, did you think I would give up that easily?" Kim smirked. "Besides I still owe you for that noogie you gave me Tuesday."

Shego clutched her sides and groaned while sitting up. Inwardly cursing her for falling for that obvious set up but she also couldn't help herself from smiling at the dirty trick Kim had played. Shego thought back to when she first met Kim.

She knew Kim for 3 years. The 1st time she encountered the red head she thought she was a goody two shoes who was way in over her head. Just saying a curse word in front of her would have been thought as morally injustice. But after the years Kim proved her other wise. Now, the red head my not be as scheming or as foul mouthed as Shego but she's no Mother Theresa either.

"What are you smiling about Shego?"

"Nothing… Just picturing your face when I do this" Shego said while projecting her plasma at the air vent above Kim hoping that will distract the red head long enough for her to sneak in a punch or two… or five.

Shego quickly made her way behind Kim more than ready to pay her back for her earlier stunt.

"**AHHHHHH!" **

Shego stopped mid-kick upon hearing the ear shattering screaming that was followed by a low thud.

"What the hell was that?"

"Uh.. I-It came from over there" Kim said nervously. She was startled that Shego managed to get behind her so quickly and without notice. No matter how many times she fought her, the pale woman could still get the best of her.

Kim, followed by Shego, cautiously made her way towards the pile of boxes where the noise came from.

"Oh my god…" Kim gasped wide-eyed.

"What is it? Whatcha find…" It was then when Shego noticed the motionless man lying on the floor.

Lying before them was an unconscious man with wild blonde curly hair and a set of wings attached to his back. He appeared to be wearing an adult size diaper with a bow and a cluster of broken arrows scattered on the floor near him.

"Oh my God.. Shego… he's-"

"A sick fuck if you ask me"

"What? No! I meant -" Kim started again only to be interrupted by Shego.

"Look Kimmie. I know you don't have much experience in this kind of things so let me tell give you a little lesson here Princess."

"NO! SHEGO! HE'S-"

"Don't interrupt. See what we have here is what we call a 'pervert'. He probably gets some kind of thrill over watching two girls beat the shit out of each other. And as for the diaper.. Well.. He probably has some kind of freak fetish-"

"SHEGOOO!!" Kim yelled exasperated.

"WHAT?!"

"Look" Kim said while pointing down.

The man now had a bright golden aura surrounding him.

The man suddenly burst into a million of tiny lights which engulfed both Kim and Shego. For a moment. All was calm. Neither woman felt anything. No pain, no pleasure, no thoughts. As quickly as the calmness swept over them, it was rudely shattered by a brief moment of excruciating pain. Both felt as if the fabric of their beings were slowly but surely being savagely ripped apart. Then there was darkness.


	2. The Man in Red

-1Ch 2: The Man in Red

Shego woke up with a start. She sat up and clutched her throbbing head. The first thing she noticed was her surroundings. She didn't recognize it at all, though it didn't take long for her to realize she was in a hospital. The next thing she noticed was the people inhabiting the room. Lying in bed across from her was none other than Kim Possible. Sitting next to the hero was her sidekick, Ron.

How the hell did she get here? The last thing she remembered was her fight with Kim the day before. _'How badly was I hurt?' _Shego threw the covers off her torso and examined herself. Her catsuit was thorn to shreds. There was barely enough cloth to cover her. And by the look of things, it seemed like half of her suit had been burnt off. Shego, herself was fine. No cuts, bruises, or broken bones. Other than the pulsating headache, Shego seemed to be relatively fine. Shego glanced out the window. Telling by the color of the sky she figured it was around 3 am or so.

She heard a groan next to her and looked over. Lying there, on the floor, was her employer, Drakken. She was a bit perplexed as to why Drakken was sleeping so comfortably when his enemies where no more than 5 feet away from him.

Not liking the situation at all, Shego decided to grab Drakken and make a run for it before the other two woke up. As she was getting out of bed, she felt a gentle pressure on her left ankle. _'What the hell?' _Looking down she noticed her foot handcuffed to the bed. She decided to cut the cuffs with her plasma before any more unwanted surprises appeared.

She lit her hand, but instead of her usual green glow, her hand was burning was burning bright yellow. She took a second to examine it. Upon closer inspection, she noticed hints of greens within her flame. Shego calmly extinguished her flame and laid back down.

'_Alcohol poisoning' _Shego thought _'I beat Kim and then I went out to celebrate. I got to drunk and ended up here. Because of the hospital's poor budgeting, Kimmie and I had to share a room. Yup. That's it._'

Shego lit both her hands. As expected, her glow was still yellow. _'I'm never drinking again' _Shego closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

--------- ---------

Morning

-------- ---------

**THUMP**

Kim slowly opened her eyes. She saw Shego sleeping in a bed across from her. More importantly, she saw a man dressed in red staring at Shego. Although Kim was still a bit groggy from sleep, she knew well enough that things would end on a bad note if Shego woke up and found that man looming above her.

"Excuse me. What are you doing here?" Startled, the man in red turned. He looks to be about 19, decked in all red. Red shorts, red socks, red sneakers, a striped red shirt, and a red cap. Even his hair was red.

"You can see me?"

"Uh yeah. What are you doing here?" Kim said, noticing the crossbow he carried with him. She moved over to Shego's bedside, putting some distance between Shego and the man.

"This is bad"

"I think you're in the wrong room. You have to leave before you wake-"

"Who the hell is this?" Shego asked as she rubbed her eyes.

Kim sighed. "Never mind"

"You can see me too?"

"Kind of hard not to with all the red you're wearing"

"This is really, really bad"

"Damn right this is bad! You two woke me up!"

"I didn't! He did."

"And who exactly is he?" Kim and Shego stared at the man waiting for an explanation.

"Oh Shit…" The man lunged at Kim, pushing her on top of Shego. He pulled out his crossbow and aimed it at the girls. Upon seeing this, Shego launched her plasma, which was back to its normal hue, at the person. The man ducked before the plasma had a chance to hit him. Shego took this as an opportunity to tackle the mystery man. Unfortunately, she forgot her foot was still handcuffed to the bed. She managed to fall flat on her face while bringing Kim down with her. The man took this as a cue to leave. Kim detached herself from Shego and ran into the hallway trying to locate the man, but no one was there.

Moments after the man left and Shego freed herself from the bothersome handcuffs, the door opened and Mrs. Possible, along with Ron and Drakken came bursting into the room. Followed by several security guards. 

"Sweetie are you alright?" Mrs. Possible asked.

"Yeah. I'm alright. Do you know who that guy was?"

"What guy?"

"The Waldo impersonator, that's who!" Shego said. "He just ran out of the room 2 seconds before you guys showed up"

Mrs. Possible and the others looked at each other sceptically.

They showed the two girls the security tapes- the nurse, Mrs. Possible, Ron, and Drakken- they all watched the black and white images of Kim jumping out of bed and tackling Shego. There was no sign of a man in red.

"He rigged the tapes somehow. There was a man in here." Shego said.

"Yo Mrs. P. , I think Shego has brain damage." Ron said.

"She doesn't have brain damage! I saw the guy too!" Kim said hotly.

"Hallucination, it's a side affect from the painkillers we put you on."

"Painkillers? For what? Do you mind telling me what's going on?" Shego asked irritably.

"What's the last thing you remember, Sweetie?" Mrs. Possible asked.

"The fight between me and Shego. Why?" Both Drakken and Rob looked a bit sheepish at Kim's answer.

"What did you two idiots do now?"

"Now Shego, there's no need for hostility." Drakken mumbled.

"Yeah!" Ron said cowering behind Drakken.

"Could you just get on with it? Why am I here?"

"Well" Drakken started "While you were fighting Ms. Possible, I was in the other room bring down the buffoon. You should have seen me Shego. I was-"

"Hey! That's not what happened! I was the one beating-"

"You mind finishing this story this century? Actually, no. Forget the story. Just get to the part were it explains why I'm here." Shego interjected

"Well. Long story short, the building exploded and you two were nowhere to be found. Dr. D and I found you two lying unconscious underneath the debris"

"But I feel fine" Kim said.

"That the problem" Mrs. Possible said. "When they found you two there wasn't a single scratch on you. Aside from your thorn clothing, there's no proof of you two being caught in the explosion. We ran several tests. We couldn't find a single thing wrong with you."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Shego said.

"Not in this case. According to this chart both your bodies are going under changes." Mrs. Possible said while suppressing a yawn. She looked incredibly tired and Kim wondered how long she had been up.

"Sorry to disappoint you Doc, but I already went to puberty"

"It doesn't seem to be affecting your health negatively. You'll be allowed to leave later on" Mrs. Possible said, ignoring Shego's earlier comment.

"Where's GJ? I'm surprised they haven't burst into this room by now. Not that I'm complaning" Shego said as she stretched and laid down on her bed. By this time, most of the occupants in the room had dispersed. Kim, Shego, and Mrs. Possible were the only ones left.

"They have their hands full with Monkey Fist and Killigan"

"Monkey Fist and Killigan? How long were we out?" Kim asked.

"3 days"

Kim sighed. "Where's dad?"

"He's at home watching the twins. He's stopping by later to pick you and Ron up."

"Oh"

"Don't worry you'll be alright" She was interrupted by the sound of light snoring. Both Possibles looked over and saw that Shego had fallen asleep. "Both of you"

"I better go. You still need your rest" Mrs. Possible kissed Kim on her forehead and left.

Kim gazed at Shego. She couldn't place her finger on it but she looked different to her somehow. A good different. She sat there and studied her facial features. Kim thought that Shego had a look of almost childlike innocence while she slept. Kim smiled at this thought but quickly shook off her thoughts. _'I'm too tired for this crap'_. Soon after, Kim drifted off to sleep.

---------- ----------

Later that day

---------- ----------

Tim, Ron, and Kim sat in the back of the car while Mr. Possible and Jim sat in the front. Mr. Possible, Ron, and the twin's were engaged their own conversation while Kim sat there quietly and stared out the window watching the scenery pass by. She was still feeling a bit uneasy about what transpired before. She was positive that the man who was in her room earlier was not a fabrication made up by her imagination. Shego couldn't have possibly imagined the same thing… could she? Still, she couldn't shake off the feeling that the man looked familiar to her.

"Are you okay KP? You haven't said a word since we got in the car" Ron asked snapping Kim out of her thoughts.

"Yeah I'm just thinking."

"Don't worry. We'll catch them"

"Who?"

"Dr. D and Shego. That's why you're all mopey right?" Shego and Drakken managed to escape earlier that day while she was sleeping. Although she really wouldn't call it escaping considering they weren't being pursued.

"No. It's not about them."

"Then what?"

"I feel like there's a piece of the puzzle missing. Don't you think it's weird that me and Shego had the same hallucination. Or that both Shego and I survived an explosion that totalled a whole building and not a single scratch was found on us?"

Ron shrugged his shoulders. "Nah. I've seen stranger things. It's best not to fret over things like that." Kim sighed and looked out the window again, not wanting to continue the conversation. Ron took this as a cue and decided to leave Kim to her on thoughts.

Mr. Possible stopped the car in a red light allowing a hoard of people to cross the street. Kim sat there, wide eyed, staring at the people crossing. Amid the crowd of people was a man glowing bright yellow. Kim rubbed her eyes hoping to disperse the image.

"Ron" Kim whispered, not wanting the attention of the other males.

"What?"

"Look out the window. Do you see anything weird or out of place?" Kim said pointing towards the crowd, specifically the man.

"No. Do you?"

"Yeah"

"What do you see?"

"A glowing man" Ron looked at Kim as if she had two heads. Kim had always been the reasonable one between the two. She always had her head in the game. Kim was usually the one setting Ron straight, never the other way around. It worried Ron greatly seeing Kim like this.

"Kim"

"Yeah?"

"Get some rest okay?"

"Ron, I'm fine!"

"If you say so. I'll talk to you later." At this point Mr. Possible had driven to Ron's house and had parked in the driveway. Ron left the car and made his way inside.

A/N: I REALLY hate the way I wrote this chapter. I pretty much rushed this. Sorry. I'll redo it when I come back from vacation.


End file.
